The Power Of Letting Go
On the journey of personal development & growth, I was told by many people that for me to get to live an exceptional life & on my terms I need to let go of all the things that were holding me back & blocking me from getting there.
OMG, do you know how frustrating that can be when you don’t know where to start! What am I letting go of? How do I let go? These are just some of the questions that went through my head before wanting to give up & put it in the too hard basket. But I didn’t ☺
It’s not always that you need to just let go of the past trauma or hurt, that is definitely part of it. Sometimes it is actually letting go of expectations, attachment to outcomes which are in the future & also letting go of who & what we can’t control.
We have all had things that we needed to let go of at some point, a relationship, a job, an attachment & letting go is not always as easy as it sounds because sometimes we are holding on to things that we should have let go because it is comfortable and safe even if it is painful, we hold on to it because we are in our comfort zone and its familiar but long term staying stuck is so much more painful.
Letting go often means change & to move forward change is needed but no one says it is easy but remember anything worthwhile takes work, isn’t always easy & will often put us out of our comfort zone. Once we do let go, we feel that freedom & alignment falling into place. The universe is self-correcting & self-organising; we must trust it will present what we need & let us know what to let go of.
Once we start to accept things for what they are in the present, not hold onto what we think they should be, expecting situations, people and decisions to be perfect then letting go & moving forward is much easier.
Letting go can also trigger fears within us because as we let go of something that is not serving us like work, relationships, friendships, situations, expectations, it often means that we have to move into the unknown, grow, learn, make changes and get uncomfortable, which we know our brain doesn’t like us to be out of our comfort zone it wants us to stay safe and survive not thrive. It also means that when we let go of what is not serving us we can then invite new opportunities and if we start to embrace those new opportunities it will make letting go easier. For instance, if we let go of a relationship that is not good for us & we embrace focusing on inviting a new relationship in, our focus has shifted opportunities come and letting go seems a whole lot easier. It doesn’t always mean jump from one relationship into another because you may need time to heal or just be but the new relationship that you can be focusing on is a relationship with yourself, with your health or any number of things.
It takes time to master the art of letting go, even if we do, then it doesn’t mean it becomes any easier to do but at least we have the tools to do it & we need to be compassionate with ourselves as we go on this journey. If we stay present, embrace change & acknowledge what no longer serves us & shift our focus on to what the positive new opportunities that come from letting go of something then that is a great start to our journey.
Here are just a few of the tips that I have gathered over my time of going through these processes.
Let go of trying to control others – Ultimately you only have control over your thoughts, feelings, actions, behaviours. So, if it is someone else’s actions or behaviours then you need to work towards how you choose to react or how you choose to feel.
Detach from outcome and trust –Detach from the attachment to outcome and trust that what is meant to be will be. Focus on your actions and being present in the moment and actually enjoying yourself.
Remove expectations – remove expectations that you may have for people, situations, experiences, relationships and just accept things for what they are. When you have that judgement there, you do not allow yourself the flexibility to grow or change and can often lead to negative internal talk or external feelings. Also, be gentle with yourself and remove expectations from how you expect that you should do something or should feel.
Remember to be grateful for what you have - Focusing on what you currently have and appreciating it, this helps releasing thing that you are holding on to that are not serving you.
Focus on what you are gaining from letting something go – Look at the opportunities that you can invite into your life by letting go of something and closing that door ready for the next door to open.
Don’t let fear drive you – See fear for what it is, just an emotion, a feeling and a state... it is not real, it is just there to help you survive rather than thrive.
Surround yourself with the right people who motivate and lift you – The people around you are so important to your growth and your well-being and remove yourself from people that are dragging you down
Check in with your thoughts – Check in to see if your mind is keeping you stuck by overthinking, by telling you negative things, making you question your decisions. When this happens take time to check in with your intuition and trust that guidance because it will always guide you to the right next best step.
Don’t worry about what others think – Remember that it is more important to worry about what you think and what is important to you rather than on others because what they think is based on their reality not yours.
Forgive – Holding on to resentment and keeps you stuck in the past. Free yourself and forgive, so you can move forward, grow and have a fulfilling life.
Meditate – Spend time connecting to self, which will help you separate that mind chatter and it will allow you to connect to your soul.
Focus on growth – Make a choice to grow and focus on that rather than staying stuck & focusing on the negative. You get to choose where your focus goes.
Pay attention to your wellness, emotional and mental wellbeing – Keeping on top of your well-being gives you the confidence to let go when things are no longer good for you or serving you.
Check in with your values & your needs – are your actions aligned with you values and your needs, do you already have rules and boundaries around your values to keep you aligned. When something is not serving you, the boundaries that you have around your values can help you let go of what is not good for you.
Work on your mindset – Your mindset changes everything, if you need support in changing it then look to someone that can help you. Once you have the right mindset the world changes and the opportunities flow in.
I hope these tools help you get started on the process of letting go, if you require any more support please feel to reach out to me for a FREE Connection Call to see how we could work together to achieve your goals & your healing.
